Tuesday, March 19, 2019

I'm Being $10/month'd to Death!

2016 Me: "Eh, I don't really watch regular television very frequently, maybe I'll cut cable and just go with Netflix for their cool new shows, and Hulu so I can still see the few network shows I do watch - I don't mind that I'll only get access a week after it airs. If I want to watch football, I'll just go to a friends house or a bar."

"Hmm, I don't download that much music from iTunes but this Spotify thing is pretty cool. Those ads are annoying as hell, though! I guess I'll sign up for premium; since I'll listen to way more music than normal, maybe I'll discover my new favorite band with their super smart algorithms!"


2019 Me: "Sorry I can't leave the house ever again. I have 45 monthly subscription services including my meals, razor blades, and clothing. I have to use every single one or else it's a waste of money. I'll be holed up watching all 200 Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, CBS, HBO and Showtime originals, and listening to all the new artists that Spotify thinks I'd like while streaming sports on YouTube and catching up on the 346 podcasts that everybody on Twitter thinks I should be listening to."



I'm drowning in content and my bank account is paying the price. Big time. I literally don't have the time for even half of it, and less and less every day, I just don't have the energy for it. I have come to accept my fate: I am going to live on the outside of the proverbial loop. Like Jon Snow, I too will 'know nothing' (a reference future me would not understand). I will cancel my fringe subscriptions, go to the grocery store for my food and razors like a civilized human; only listen to the 5 or 6 podcasts that make me happy; and continue watching the handful of shows whose plots genuinely pull me in - shows I'm watching for my own enjoyment, not to be on the inside of a water-cooler joke.  Musically I will cancel my Spotify Premium account, go back to downloading the odd song or album on iTunes and be patient during the commercial breaks as I try to discover new artists. I will stay strong. I will rebuild my bank account. I will not give in to internet pressure.

Oh, by the way, have you watched Shrill on Hulu, yet? You totally should, it's really really great!

Monday, March 18, 2019

A Display of Human Emotion

Have humans created anything more emotionally stirring than the Māori haka?! The competitive battle cry haka will make you feel ready to tear the head off your enemy and drink their blood. The welcoming haka, sometimes performed at weddings, makes an outsider feel as though they now belong to the worlds most tight-knit group. And the memorial haka, sometimes performed at funerals, lets the grieving display their fierce love for the lost, and their depth of support for the surviving.

Whether it's the All Blacks before they play the Springboks, school children honoring a retiring teacher, a family welcoming a new son into their tribe, or friends honoring the memory after losing one of their own, I've never made it through a haka video on YouTube with dry eyes.

Humans are such powerful creatures (for better or worse) so when they come together and act in unison it's always a spectacle. Add call-and-response, loud chants, grand gesticulations, a dash of unfamiliarity (it's performed in the native Māori tongue), demonstrative facial expressions, and the complete and utter commitment exhibited by every single participant, you can't help but feel in the presence of something greater.

I write this today after watching a group of schoolchildren in Christchurch perform a somewhat impromptu haka to honor those lost in the massacres at the 2 Mosques. What started as a small group of 10-15 kids, grew to well over 50 in the matter of minutes, each contributing with all their might, listening to the leader and responding as one. There were boys and girls of not just māori heritage, but other ethnicities as well. They heard their fellow students chant and felt compelled to join in. At the end of the video, one participant, overcome with emotion wipes a tear from her eye as a friend comforts her with a hug. These children may not know the deceased, but they know the effect the tragedy is having, and will continue to have, on their community, and for that they mourn. They are demonstrating that their city will be strong for one another and stronger together.

Because it's rarely socially acceptable to express your anger and your passion to such an extent, I can imagine participating in one is extremely cathartic. Hell, just watching one releases an emotional pressure valve in me - letting out emotions that I've been expected to hide. Watching a haka forces me to connect the dots from the primal human to the modern human and realize we haven't changed all that much. It's a simultaneous experience of the ancient and the modern human and it's beautiful.






Please enjoy these well known haka videos. 
Word to the wise: remove your makeup before you push play.

The wedding haka seen round the world. I love this one as it shows the tender moments of joining together after the dance.

The memorial haka whose love and sadness is so powerful you won't be able to see your screen through the ugly-cry tears.

The military haka which leaves no doubt in the viewers mind that these men are acting as one and will protect one another with all their power. (ends at 2:14)

The sports haka which leave us all blood thirsty and thinking we too are strong and powerful enough go out there with those players and fight for the victory. The French don't stand a chance after that display.