Christmas Past

Christmas in the 50's just seems so precious; just look how glamorous Lucy's christmas was. The men were scrubbed and spiffed and put together and debonair. The women were beautiful in fur and pearls and tailored dresses made from quality fabrics. Together they were ready to celebrate this wonderful time of year drinking gimlets and stringing popcorn.

I want a Christmas like in the old fashioned movies - only with no poverty and thoughts of suicide (It's a Wonderful Life) or Santa Claus trials (Miracle on 34th Street). Just the good stuff. I want muted reds and greens, candle-lit rooms, tinsel draped trees, and Burl Ives echoing from a 2 ton stereo system in the formal dining room. 

I want to go to sleep, excitedly, on December 24th in my silk nightgown and little ringlet pigtails. I want to wake up to a wooden train set erected around the base of the tree. I don't want to see or need a single battery or outlet after opening my presents. I want for us all to tinker quietly in the living room with our new possessions while the music flows gently through the house - for mom to read her new book and for dad to put his new shoe shine kit to use.

A Sort of Scientific Neverland

 Here's what we need to work on, scientists: Stop baby animals from growing up.

I want to have a kitten but I don't want to have a cat. I want to cuddle with a puppy but do not want to deal with a dog. And I want to look at pictures of baby lions and baby monkeys playing together happily and not their grownup versions fighting.

I know what you're thinking, "but if we stop all the babies from growing up, then how are we going to have more babies to 'aww' and 'oooo' at?" Simple: I don't want to do it to ALL of the baby animals out there, just some of them.

If scientists aren't on board for this idea, then I'm gonna need one of my entrepreneurial friends to come up with a Rent-a-Runt business wherein people can rent very small, very cute baby animals for a few hours of joy.

I mean come on, what's cuter here? Unless this older version is your own pet and you're simply charmed due to the memories associated with the animal, you can not sit there and honestly tell me that full size animals are better...well, the grown-up lion is pretty rad, but unfortunately we can't really keep those as pets, now can we.