One Saturday, not too long ago, I was driving home from set at about 3 in the morning. As usual, it was an adrenaline filled day and this night in particular ended on an awesome high note. For a combination of these reasons, I was driving home in a good mood, wide awake just staring out the window at the world passing by. This is when I realized that being asleep at this hour is a good thing. The world is a much prettier place when you don't know that 3am in the city exists. Let me paint the picture for you:
It's a hot summer night. 85 degrees. Humid. Hot and humid. Queen & Bathurst area. The first overwhelming site was an oft repeated one: groups of trashed 20 somethings stumbling out of the bar and into the closest greasy food hot spot all the while singming (combo of singing and screaming) the latest chart-topping hit. Annoying, a little trashy, but not too alarming. I drive on, even wishing for a second that maybe I was leaving a bar with my friends. For the record I would be singming Gaga's Edge of Glory.
Next site: single man getting into a taxi. Mid 40's. Dressed appropriately for his age, but very unkempt. The cab drives onward. The man, whose head I could see just seconds ago, disappears. Then, suddenly, he's back. He's holding a massive foil wrapped meal in his hands. Whoosh! Out the window flies the paper bag and foil wrapper. He disappears again. Now he's back. He's had enough. Out the window flies the rest of the grease ball. What a shit head.
I drive on. I see a group of barely drinking age boys fake hailing cabs. The cabs pull up and the boys walk in the opposite direction. I was at the red light for about 3 minutes and saw them do this 4 times. Weirdos.
A single guy crosses in front of me at the next red light. He's dressed pretty well. A little 'Kanga' for my tastes, but nice nonetheless. He's about to pass out and is using every shred of consciousness to keep himself upright and heading in a straight line. But wait! What do you think distracts his attention but...
Cut to 2 girls in full clubbing mode running across the street in 5 inch heels (and dresses) trying to avoid the streetcar tracks while chowing down on hotdogs.
A few more blocks of the same.
Now I start to notice that the homeless people on the streets are becoming almost indecipherable from the partygoers. Both are slumped on the curb, both are waiting in line at Taco Bell, both are standing in the middle of the road smoking cigs. All look tired.
Driving thru thru the club district I see a lot of bad decisions about to be made. Strike that, I see bad decisions that were made hours ago while standing in the closet preparing to head out. I see girls who surely had more clothes on in the beginning of the night; girls who should have used waterproof mascara; girls who should should buy different hair; girls who should go to computer school.
The garbage men are making their rounds now. For every 20 pieces of trash that make it onto the truck, 6 fall to the sidewalk. Along comes a breeze and bam, you're hit in the face with a coffee stained napkin and the smell of a 90 degree day's worth of discarded lunch meats.
Even the police look like the day's got the best of them. Groups of uniform clad cops are sitting on their bikes out front the "trouble locations" waiting for something to happen. At first I found their discretion alarming as they let several things go that seemed troubling to me, but again, in the course of my red light, I realized they were really just picking their battles.
Basically 3 in the morning is a sweaty mess and I was very happy to get home and into the shower to rinse off my drive.
