Words Have Meanings, You Know!

Seriously though, have marketing directors taken leave of their senses? Have they forgotten that the words we use have agreed upon definitions that lead to a common understanding of the message when we communicate with one another? Some of this new marketing bullshit it just that - complete and utter marketing bullshit, and I for one would like to see an end to it! 


Example #1
Verizon data plan options include 'Go Unlimited', 'Beyond Unlimited', and 'Above Unlimited'
WTF Verizon?! In case you've forgotten:

unlimited |ˌənˈlimidəd| adjectivenot limited or restricted in terms of number, quantity, or extent: the range of possible adaptations was unlimited.

How can you go "beyond" and "above" something with no limit or restriction and how can 'Go' unlimited not actually mean an unlimited amount of Data?! Call a spade a mother fucking spade and say limited data allowance, average data allowance, and high data allowance. Your dumbass terms are confusing and misleading and we're not idiots; we know that if we're paying less, we're getting less - plain and simple. If I "Go Unlimited" I don't want there to be a limit on what I'm about to do (whether it's eating ice cream or using my data). 



Example #2
Airline Membership Levels include Diamond Elite, Platinum Elite, Executive Platinum, Platinum Pro, Medallion Elite, Premier Club, etc...

What in samhell do any of those terms mean in real life? Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Platinum I think I can get behind, but when you name your lowest tier program 'Gold Member Elite' there's something fucking wrong with you.  In case you've forgotten:

gold |ɡōld| noun3 • something considered to be precious, beautiful, or of the most superior quality: they scout continents in search of the new green gold.elite |əˈlētāˈlēt| noun1 [treated as singular or plural] a select part of a group that is superior to the rest in terms of ability or qualities: the elite of Britain's armed forces | [as modifier] :  elite colleges and universities | an elite athlete.

There's nothing 'gold' or 'elite' about being entry level. Call it entry level. I'm sure a few precious souls out there might be offended at being called basic, but you know what, they paid $84 for their cross country flight, board dead last, are wearing every possession they own to avoid baggage fees, are sitting in row 53 Middle, and will pay $10 for a bag of Cheetos once they're in the air. They're not elite. They're basic entry level customers.


Example #3
The local news has taken to calling their weather report 'The Futurecast"
In case you've forgotten KTLA:

forecast |ˈfôrˌkast| verb (past and past participle forecast or forecasted) [with object] predict or estimate (a future event or trend): rain is forecast for eastern Ohio |[with object and infinitive] :  coal consumption is forecast to increase.nouna prediction or estimate of future events, especially coming weather or a financial trend.

Why the fuck would you make up a dumbass word that all word-processing programs agree is so incorrect, it's worthy of the red squiggly underline and not even an autocorrect. Computers don't even know what you're trying to say!

We ALL know what forecast means. The weather report is almost literally the only time anyone uses that word. It's practically a branded word for you weathermen, like Rollerblade or Kleenex. All it makes me do when I hear your stupid channel say 'futurecast' is change the channel.


Stop trying to make fetch happen, change the language, it's not going to happen!

Standing the Test of Time (Pt.1)

I'm currently on a different work schedule than my partner and so as not to violate the modern rules of relationships, I can not dive into Netflix and get caught up on the digital watch list. As a result I have been checking out the various movie channels and re-watching some old favorites, and giving several old classics an initial viewing. After watching a few of the older films, I thought it might be interesting to review them based on how well they've aged. Here's my first go:

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - 1967A young white lady falls in love with handsome black man while on vacation in Hawaii. Young white lady brings handsome black man home to meet what she calls her liberal, forward-thinking parents and their black maid at their San Francisco home. Handsome black man neglects to tell his also-black parents he's dating a young white lady and they end up inadvertently invited to the titular dinner with their son, his white fiancé and her white parents. Oh, and the white fathers white friend (a catholic priest) comes to dinner too.

I loved this film! Wow was it impactful! There was no hyperbole, no fits of rage or damning each other to hell and cutting people out of the family. It was just real, honest, contemplative conversation as humans work thru their emotions surrounding a new experience.

Both mothers are just happy that their children are happy, and while uncomfortable in the beginning, ultimately want happiness for their children. They understand that love stands the test of time and no matter what comes at them, if they can face it together, they will survive and thrive.

The black father is concerned with the laws and stuck in his way of thinking and is unable to see the future. As the son says to his father, "you think of yourself as a colored man. I think of myself as a man." The white father respects that his daughter is in love and doesn't object to their love, but struggles to condone the relationship due to the hardships they will encounter in the unaccepting society. He wants the path of least resistance for his daughter and knows this is not such a path.

And then there's the older white Catholic priest, who, since he is not directly effected by this situation, gives perhaps the most pragmatic arguments of the film and all but outright states that "love is love."

Every viewpoint represented in this film is so specifically crafted to represent a prong of the argument yet it doesn't feel at all like I'm watching an after school special on how to deal with a difficult situation. I felt like I could insert any of the LGBTQ terms into this film (and in parts of the country, perhaps still the interracial aspect) and it could have been made this year.

Additionally, outside of story there were three aspects lent themselves to the timelessness and allowed me to believe I was watching something that could have been made last year: the clothing, the set, and the character names. Men were wearing suits, women were wearing well tailored simple clothing (I'm on the hunt right now to recreate one of the more casual daytime outfits). The setting was a single, upper-class home which, because of the resurgence of mid-century modern, seemed like a home I might visit today. And lastly, the characters names - despite being set in 1967, their names were so current - Matt, John, Chris, Joey and Ryan (2 of those were female characters!). It seems a small detail, but had they been using names more representative of the time (their real names were Spencer, Sidney, Katherine, Katherine and Cecil) I think my brain would have been constantly reminded of the time period. Small details, yes; but they really contributed to the modern feel for me.

I absolutely loved this movie; and if you saw it more than 20 years ago, give it another watch - I think you'll enjoy it just as much, if not more. Ok, more test-of-time reviews to follow, but this was a really great one to kick it off.